Equal partners

I got to speak to my husband today. I love hearing his voice. We were talking about his upcoming plans with the military. As I was listening, I remembered someone talking about how their marriage as not "50-50." Marriage is a give and take. One person gives while the other takes and vise versa. However, sometimes the give and take is not always equal. Marriage is work. It is not going to simply fall into place and stay stagnant.

When I decided to return to school to earn my degree, my daughter was a year old. My husband carried the load. I was working full-time and going to school full time. My husband, who also worked full-time, became the primary caregiver. He took and picked up our daughter from daycare, he cleaned the house, did laundry (not always very well), cooked dinner and grocery shopped. After about four years, I had earned my degree in education.

Now it was my husband's turn. In 1999, Rick decided he wanted to join the military - a life-long dream of his. However, he was 27 years old. He was unsure of his decision. It was my turn to carry the load. Rick joined the National Guard - went to book camp for four months. He became a weekend warrior - however, he still was not satisfied. Right after 9/11 he joined the Army. We are now a career military family. I take the kids to school, I clean the house, I do the laundry (correctly), I cook dinner and grocery shop.

Marriage is partnership. Sometimes one member benefits from the marriage more than the other. However, as partners in a relationship each member needs to be willing to carry the load. Husband and wife working together with God's help will ensure a successful (though not necessarily smooth) marriage.

Coming Home

I know it has been forever since I last blogged...but I am running around trying to get our home ready for a Homecoming. I am alternating between excitement and nerves. Obviously, I am happy that dh will be home soon. The last 15 months have been long and draining. However, I am also nervous about how he will be and how I will be once the honeymoon phase of the homecoming is gone.

Though we are on our third deployment, this one has been especially hard for us. The squadron has lost 22 men and had 80 injuries. A third of the squadron has been lost or wounded. These men were soldiers my husband worked with or commanded. In addition, a few have been close friends of his. These losses will be something that dh will have to learn to live with and handle. I however am a caregiver by nature and I want to make things "all better."

After 12 years together, my husband is still number one in my life. I pray to God constantly that dh will return home healthy body, mind and spirit! I also pray for the patience and understanding to be what he needs when he needs it.

The days are numbered (wish I could tell you an exact number) and I am counting them down!